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Wit and Wisdom Jokes > Bathroom Wall Wisdom. If you have some that you especially like and you don't see it here. Drop us an email.


  • A woman's rule of thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
    Found in a women's restroom.
  • Make love, not war. Heck, do both - get married !
    Found in a women's restroom.
  • You're too good for him.
    Over a women's restroom mirror.
  • Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
    Found in a men's restroom.
  • No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.
    Over a men's restroom mirror.
  • No wonder you always go home alone.
    Over a men's restroom mirror.
  • Express Lane: Five beers or less.
    Over a urinal.
  • What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.
    Over a urinal.
  • At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
  • Beauty is only a light switch away.
  • Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
  • If Bush were captain of the Titantic, he'd say we were stopping for ice.
  • If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted and have the time of our lives.
  • If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress !
  • If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
  • It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
  • I've decided that to raise my grades, I must lower my standards.
  • Never argue with Idiots. They will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
  • Things are a lot more like they used to be than they are now.
  • The Eleventh Commandment: Thou shall not commit adulthood.
  • To do is to be. (Descartes)
    To be is to do. (Voltaire)
    Do be do be do. (Sinatra)


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    Last Updated April 1, 2013

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