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Transportation Jokes > Car and Automobile Jokes.  
Read and hopefully enjoy. We have Car Acronyms on this page, but don't forget to check out the other Car and Automobile Jokes on the following page. If you have some that you especially like and you don't see it here. Drop us an email.


Car Acronyms

ACURA

  • Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead
  • Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
  • Asia's Curse Upon Rural America
AUDI
  • Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
  • Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
  • Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
BMW
  • Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
  • Beautiful Models Wanted
  • Big Money Works
  • Bought My Wife
  • Bring More Women
BUICK
  • Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
  • Big Ugly Imitation Chrome King
CADILLAC
  • Company Always Denies Its Lawful Liability After Collisions
CHEVROLET
  • Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
  • Can Hear Every Valve, Rod, or Lifter Every Time
  • Cheap Heap Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
  • Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
DODGE
  • Darn Overhauls Do Get Expensive
  • Darn Old Dudes Going Everywhere
  • Dear Old Dad's Garbage Engine
  • Old Dads Garage Experiment
  • Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
FERRARI
  • Ferociously Elegant Racer Ravages All Roads Intuitively
FIAT
  • Failure In Italian Automotive Technology
  • Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
  • Fix it again, Tony!
  • Fix It All the Time
  • Found In A Trashcan
  • Futile Italian Attempt at Transportation
FORD
  • Faithful, Obedient, Reliable, Dependable
  • Fancy Oil Recycling Device
  • Fast On Race Day
  • Fast Only Rolling Downhill
  • Fault Of R&D
  • Fireball On Rear Damage
  • First On Race Day
  • First On Recall Day
  • First On Rust and Deterioration
  • Fix Or Repair Daily
  • For Off Road Driving
  • For Old Retired Drunks
  • Found On Road, Dead
  • Found On Rubbish Dump
  • Frequently Overhauled, Rarely Driven
GEO
  • Get Everything Overpriced
  • Got Everything Overhauled
GMC
  • Garage Man's Companion
  • Get More Cash!
  • Gimme My Checkbook!
  • God's Mechanical Curse
  • Got A Mechanic Coming?
  • Greasy Messy Contraption
  • Great Mountain of Crap
  • Greatest Mistake Created
HONDA
  • Had One, Never Did Again
  • Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
  • Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else
  • Honest, Officer, Nobody Drank Anything
  • Horribly Overpriced, Needing Dad's Assistance
HUMMER
  • Hope U Made Me Extra Reliable
HYUNDAI
  • Here's Y U Never Drive An Import
  • Hope You Understand: Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive
  • Hardly Your Understanding New Dealer Allowance Incentive
  • Hold Your Usual Nitpicks, Designs Are Improved
Jeep
  • Just Empty Every Pocket
  • Just Expect Every Problem
  • Just Eats Every Penny
  • Junk Everyone Eventually Piles
Jaguar
  • Just A Guess U Are Rich
Kia
  • Keep Inside Asia
  • Keep It Away!
  • Kick It's Ass
  • Killed In Action
  • Killer's Imported Asset
  • Kiss It Away
  • Korea Invades America
  • Korean Imitation Accord
  • Korea's Imported Accident
LAMBORGHINI
  • Loser Always Maintains Big Old Rotten Gunk; Hardly Inflates Nobody's Image
LOTUS
  • Loads Of Trouble Usually Serious
Maserati
  • Must Also Suggest Extra Rope And Towing Implements
MAZDA
  • Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
  • Must Always Zoom Down Asphalt
MERCEDES
  • My Expensive Race Car Emits Dense Exhaust Smoke
  • Most Every Red Cent Eventually Dissipates, Extinguishing Savings
  • Merger Engaged Reverse Chrysler Entering Decline Evident Soon
MITSUBISHI
  • May Involve Turbos, Suck Unless Boost Is Seriously High Inside
NISSAN
  • Need I Say Something About Nothing
  • Never In Season Simply A No-show
OLDSMOBILE
  • Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday
  • Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick`s Irregular Leftover Equipment
PONTIAC
  • Poor Old Ninny Thinks It's A Cadillac
  • Piece Of Nasty Tacky Icky Ass Crap
PORSCHE
  • Plenty Of Repairs Service Can't Help Everything
  • Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
SAAB
  • Sad Attempt At Beauty
  • Send Another Automobile Back
  • Some Ass Actually Boughtit!
  • Sorry Auto Assembled Backwards
  • Styling Absent After Buyout
  • Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
SATURN
  • Sorry Assed Transmission Under Repair Now
  • Some Argue That Ubiquitous Repairs Needed
  • Send Another Towtruck Ubiquitous Repairs Needed
  • Same American Trash Under Revised Name
SUBARU
  • Stupid Urbanites Bumbling Around Rural Areas
  • SUBARU backwards is: U R A BUS (You are a bus)
TOYOTA
  • Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
  • This One You Oughta Tow Away
  • To Operate Your Own Terrific Automobile
  • Tolerances Over Yielding, Often Towed Away
VOLVO
  • Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
VW
  • Very Weird
  • Virtually Worthless

More Car Jokes ==> Page  1   


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Gifts:
Allheart.com:"Nursing Uniforms is our specialty. AllHeart.com offers Medical Uniforms and Scrubs, Stethoscopes, Diagnostic Tools, Blood Pressure Devices and more at EveryDay Low Prices. Scrubs for men and women are our bread and butter. AllHeart.com's senior management includes over 90 years of experience in pharmaceuticals, health care, retail, manufacturing, and catalog merchandising industries. AllHeart.com also offers a Free 30 Day Walk and Wear Return Policy to ensure customer satisfaction."

Nurses' Station:"The idea for the Nurses' Station Catalog was conceived in 1989. After searching the marketplace in response to customer inquiries, it became obvious that there were no catalogs of this type serving the nursing profession. To be sure, there were several catalogs offering nurse's uniforms and a smattering of professional items. But there weren't any catalogs at the time offering a range of gifts, clothing, professional items, name badges, shoes and scrubs for nurses. It took two years of hard work to gather samples and put a together a catalog of the most unique and high-quality items for nurses. "
Nurses Station P.O. Box 388 Centerbrook, CT 06409-03881



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Last Updated October 27, 2004

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