Fred, playing as a single at Pebble Beach was teamed with a twosome. After a few holes, the twosome finally asked why he was playing such a beautiful course by himself. He replied that he & his wife had played the course every year - for over 20 years - but this year she had passed away and he kept the tee time in her memory. The twosome commented that they thought certainly someone would have been willing to take her spot. "So did I" he said - "but they all wanted to go to the funeral."

Heavenly Golf

A husband and wife died and went to Heaven together. They were met at the gates by an angel who was to show them the place. "Right over here we have our very own golf course!" said the angel.

"Wow! It's beautiful! Can we play it now?!" they both exclaimed.

"Sure," said the angel.

So the couple began playing. It was the most beautiful course they had ever seen. Everything was perfect... the fairways, the greens, even the roughs. The more they played the more the woman beamed with happiness, but she noticed her husband was becoming disheartened and angry.

The woman confronted her husband on what was wrong.

"I can't understand why you're not happy. We're in Heaven! We're together! We're playing on the most beautiful and most perfect golf course ever! What's wrong with you?" she asked.

"If you hadn't fed us those DAMN bran muffins, we'd been here years ago!"

Fatal Provisional

A guy gets a call from the coroner, who wants to talk about his wife's recent death.

"We were on the third hole," the widower relates.

"My wife was standing on the ladies tee about 30 yards ahead of the men's when I hit my drive. From the sound when the ball hit her head and the way she dropped like a rock I knew immediately that she was dead. God only knows where the ball wound up."

The coroner replies That explains the injury to her head, but what about the Maxfli embedded in her rectum?

'`Oh," says the man, "that was my provisional."

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