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School One Liner Jokes

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• We used to call it "recess." Today they call it "cease fire."
• The Bible Studies course has been recently changed to "Theories in Mass Hypnosis 101." Surprisingly no one seems to have noticed.
• College would be great if it weren't for all the classes.
• I’m failing geometry because I refuse to believe that pie are squared.
• Someone died of a brain aneurism today while taking a standardized test. The last thing anyone saw him do was stand up, pull all his hair out and yell, “ABACADABA!! ABACADABA!!!!”
• I think I’ll skip English tomorrow. There are just certain aspects of Moby I don’t want to know about.
• The school board decided to remove speech and debate from the course schedule; there was no argument.
• Our school is very low-budgeted; our physics book is so out of date the last chapter deals with combustion.
• School is just an elaborate plot by vampires to obtain the blood of teenagers through periodic blood-drives.
• Today in Art class we were going to paint a nude model, but the teacher sent her to the office for violating dress code.
• Fifth graders in Texas are using worms to recycle garbage from school lunches. But even the worms won't eat the Salisbury steak.
• Today in English we learned absolutely nothing about killing mockingbirds.
• I went to a tough high school. In biology we used to dissect custodians.
• To be a first-grade teacher you have to have skill, dedication, and an immunity to knock-knock jokes.
• School is where you always try to do your best-except when your friends are watching.
• Teachers deserve a lot of credit. Of course, if we paid them more, they wouldn’t need it.
• Back-to-school sales get me all excited. Of course, pretty much any sale gets me all excited.
• School is very important. Everyone should get at least a high school education--even if they already know everything.
• You know our education system has problems when Hallmark comes out with a new line of "Easy-to-read" graduation cards.
• My kids have everything they need to go back to school—except the right attitude.
• The best part of going back to school is seeing all your friends. The worst part is that your teachers won’t let you talk to them.

• The Mighty Big Book of School Jokes
  by Craig Yoe

• Back-to-School Belly Busters : And Other Side-Splitting Knock-Knock Jokes That Are Too Cool for School!
  by Katy Hall (Author), Stephen Carpenter (Illustrator)

• Jokes You Shouldnt Tell Your Teacher
  by Eric Arnold (Author), Sean Taggart (Illustrator)

• Teachers Jokes Quotes And Anecdotes
  by Stark Books

• Mad Student Survival Guide For Those Bored Of Education
  by Inc. Scholastic

Gifts:

Nurses' Station:"The idea for the Nurses' Station Catalog was conceived in 1989. After searching the marketplace in response to customer inquiries, it became obvious that there were no catalogs of this type serving the nursing profession. To be sure, there were several catalogs offering nurse's uniforms and a smattering of professional items. But there weren't any catalogs at the time offering a range of gifts, clothing, professional items, name badges, shoes and scrubs for nurses. It took two years of hard work to gather samples and put a together a catalog of the most unique and high-quality items for nurses. "
Nurses Station P.O. Box 388 Centerbrook, CT 06409-03881

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