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• How do you get rid of a nun's hiccups???
  Tell her she's pregnant!!!

• What is the definition of innocence?
  A nun working in a condom factory thinking she's making sleeping bags for mice.

• What do you call a nun who walks in her sleep?
  A roaming catholic.

• What do you call a nun with a sex change operation?
  A tran-sister.

• What's black and white and red and has trouble getting through a revolving door?
  A nun with a spear through her head!

• Two nuns are cycling down a cobbled street.
  The first one says "I've never come this way before."
  The second one replies "Must be the cobbles"
  

Three nuns who had recently died where on their way to heaven. At the pearly gates they were met by St. Peter. Around the gates there was a collection of lights and bells.
St. Peter stopped them and told them that they would each have to answer a question before they could enter through the pearly gates.
St. Paul: "What were the names of the two people in the garden of Eden?"
1st nun : "Adam and Eve"
The lights flashed the bells rang and in she went through the pearly gates.
St. Paul: "What did Adam eat from the forbidden tree ?"
2nd nun : "An apple"
The lights flashed the bells rang and in she went through the pearly gates.
And finally it came the turn of the last nun.
St. Paul : "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam ?"
After a few minutes thinking she says "Gosh, that's a hard one!"
The lights flashed the bells rang and in she went through the pearly gates!

When he drives past a third sign saying SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION NEXT RIGHT, his curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a somber stone building with a small sign next to the door reading SISTERS OF MERCY. He climbs the steps and rings the bell.

The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks "What may we do for you, my son?"

He answers "I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing business."

"Very well, my son. Please follow me."

He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented.

The nun stops at a closed door, and tells the man "Please knock on this door."

He does as he is told and this door is answered by another nun in a long habit and holding a tin cup.

This nun instructs "Please place $50 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway."

He gets $50 out of his wallet and places it in the second nun's cup. He trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him.

As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign: GO IN PEACE, YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF MERCY.