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• Waiter,  I'll have some lamb chops and make them lean.
  Forward or backward, sir?
• Waiter, what do you call this?
  Cottage pie, sir.
  Well, I've just bitten on a piece of the door.
• Waiter, what do you call this?
  That's been soup, sir.
  I don't care what it's been, what is it now?
• Waiter, I'll have the pie, please.
  Anything with it, sir?
  If it's anything like last time I'd better have a hammer and chisel.
• Waiter, I'll have my bill now.
  How did you find your steak, sir?
  Oh, I just move the potato and there it was.
• Waiter, is this a fly in my soup?
  Quite possibly, sir. The chef used to be a tailor.
  
• Waiter, is this a hair in my soup?
  Why, of course sir. That's rabbit stew!
• Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
  Couldn't be, sir. The cook used them all in the raisin bread.
• Waiter, there is a fly in my soup.
  Sorry sir, maybe I've forgotten it when I removed the other three.
• I had lunch in a Chinese restaurant the other day, but the chicken was terrible. So I called the waiter over and I said, "This chicken is rubbery."
  And the waiter said, "Thank you berry much!"
  
• Waiter, Bring me a crocodile sandwich, and make it snappy!
  
• A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.
  Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest.
  "Oh I don't care." said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."
• Waiter: Tea or coffee, gentlemen?
  1st customer: I'll have tea.
  2nd customer: Me, too. And be sure the glass is clean!
  (Waiter exits, returns)
  Waiter: Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?

Allheart.com: "Nursing Uniforms is our specialty. AllHeart.com offers Medical Uniforms and Scrubs, Stethoscopes, Diagnostic Tools, Blood Pressure Devices and more at EveryDay Low Prices. Scrubs for men and women are our bread and butter. AllHeart.com's senior management includes over 90 years of experience in pharmaceuticals, health care, retail, manufacturing, and catalog merchandising industries. AllHeart.com also offers a Free 30 Day Walk and Wear Return Policy to ensure customer satisfaction."

Nurses' Station:"The idea for the Nurses' Station Catalog was conceived in 1989. After searching the marketplace in response to customer inquiries, it became obvious that there were no catalogs of this type serving the nursing profession. To be sure, there were several catalogs offering nurse's uniforms and a smattering of professional items. But there weren't any catalogs at the time offering a range of gifts, clothing, professional items, name badges, shoes and scrubs for nurses. It took two years of hard work to gather samples and put a together a catalog of the most unique and high-quality items for nurses. "
Nurses Station P.O. Box 388 Centerbrook, CT 06409-03881