Jokes 'N Jokes
Profession Jokes
Waiter Waiter Jokes

The Dailies
Cartoons!!
Jokes
Inspirations
Motivationals
Spirtual Wisdom

Funny Pics
Inspirations
The Quotes
Trivia
Newsletters
Humor Links
Site Search

Shopping

Wacky Shop
BuyCostumes.com
TV Video Store
Music Store
Book Store
Shoe Stores

Uniforms
Allheart.com
Nurses' Station

Continuing Education (C.E.U.'s)

Matchmaking
Jobs ! Jobs !

• Waiter, my knife is blunt and my steak is like leather.
  I should strop the knife on the steak then, sir.
• Waiter, if this is place then I'm an idiot.
  You're right, sir - it  "is" the place.
• Waiter, I think I'd like a little game.
  Draughts or tiddlywinks, sir?
• Waiter, is this all you've got to eat?
  No, sir, I'll be having a nice shepherd's pie when I get home.
• Waiter, I'll have soup and fish.
  I'd have the fish first if I were you, sir, it's just on the turn.
• Waiter, you're not fit to serve a pig!
  I'm doing my best, sir.
• Waiter, bring me tea without milk.
  We haven't any milk, sir. How about tea without cream?
• Waiter, how long will my sausages be?
  Oh, about three or four inches if you're lucky.
• Waiter, this egg tastes rather strong.
  Never mind, sir, the tea's nice and weak.
• Waiter, I'll have a chop; no - make that a steak.
  I'm a waiter, sir; not a flopping magician!
• Waiter, I asked for bread with my dinner.
  It's in the sausages, sir.
• Waiter, there is a mosquito in my soup.
  Yes sir, that's because we've run out of flies.
• Waiter, there is a fly in my salad.
  I'm sorry sir, I didn't know that you are vegetarian.
• Waiter, where is my honey?
  She left last week, sir.
• Waiter, there's a hair my honey.
  It must have dropped off the comb, sir!
• Waiter, that dog's just run off with my roast lamb!
  Yes, it's very popular, sir.
• Waiter, this bread's got sand in it.
  That's to stop the butter slipping off, sir.
• Waiter, there's a button in my soup.
  Oh, thank-you, sir. I've been looking for that everywhere.
• Waiter, there's no chicken in this chicken pie.
  So what? You don't get dog in a dog biscuit, do you?
• Waiter, there's a worm on my plate.
  That's your sausage, sir.
• Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
  That's all right, sir, he won't drink much.
• Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
  So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?