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• Waiter, my knife is blunt and my steak is like leather.
  I should strop the knife on the steak then, sir.
• Waiter, if this is place then I'm an idiot.
  You're right, sir - it  "is" the place.
• Waiter, I think I'd like a little game.
  Draughts or tiddlywinks, sir?
• Waiter, is this all you've got to eat?
  No, sir, I'll be having a nice shepherd's pie when I get home.
• Waiter, I'll have soup and fish.
  I'd have the fish first if I were you, sir, it's just on the turn.
• Waiter, you're not fit to serve a pig!
  I'm doing my best, sir.
• Waiter, bring me tea without milk.
  We haven't any milk, sir. How about tea without cream?
• Waiter, how long will my sausages be?
  Oh, about three or four inches if you're lucky.
• Waiter, this egg tastes rather strong.
  Never mind, sir, the tea's nice and weak.
• Waiter, I'll have a chop; no - make that a steak.
  I'm a waiter, sir; not a flopping magician!
• Waiter, I asked for bread with my dinner.
  It's in the sausages, sir.
• Waiter, there is a mosquito in my soup.
  Yes sir, that's because we've run out of flies.
• Waiter, there is a fly in my salad.
  I'm sorry sir, I didn't know that you are vegetarian.
• Waiter, where is my honey?
  She left last week, sir.
• Waiter, there's a hair my honey.
  It must have dropped off the comb, sir!
• Waiter, that dog's just run off with my roast lamb!
  Yes, it's very popular, sir.
• Waiter, this bread's got sand in it.
  That's to stop the butter slipping off, sir.
• Waiter, there's a button in my soup.
  Oh, thank-you, sir. I've been looking for that everywhere.
• Waiter, there's no chicken in this chicken pie.
  So what? You don't get dog in a dog biscuit, do you?
• Waiter, there's a worm on my plate.
  That's your sausage, sir.
• Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
  That's all right, sir, he won't drink much.
• Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
  So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?

Allheart.com: "Nursing Uniforms is our specialty. AllHeart.com offers Medical Uniforms and Scrubs, Stethoscopes, Diagnostic Tools, Blood Pressure Devices and more at EveryDay Low Prices. Scrubs for men and women are our bread and butter. AllHeart.com's senior management includes over 90 years of experience in pharmaceuticals, health care, retail, manufacturing, and catalog merchandising industries. AllHeart.com also offers a Free 30 Day Walk and Wear Return Policy to ensure customer satisfaction."

Nurses' Station:"The idea for the Nurses' Station Catalog was conceived in 1989. After searching the marketplace in response to customer inquiries, it became obvious that there were no catalogs of this type serving the nursing profession. To be sure, there were several catalogs offering nurse's uniforms and a smattering of professional items. But there weren't any catalogs at the time offering a range of gifts, clothing, professional items, name badges, shoes and scrubs for nurses. It took two years of hard work to gather samples and put a together a catalog of the most unique and high-quality items for nurses. "
Nurses Station P.O. Box 388 Centerbrook, CT 06409-03881