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Profession Jokes >
Accountant Jokes.
If you have some that you especially like and you don't see it here. Drop us an email.
- What's
the definition of an accountant?
Someone
who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't
understand.
-
What's
the definition of a good tax accountant?
Someone who has a loophole named after
him.
-
When
does a person decide to become an accountant?
When
he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
-
What's
an actuary?
An
accountant without the sense of humor.
-
Why
do some accountants decide to become actuaries?
They
find bookkeeping too exciting.
-
What's
an insolvency practitioner?
Someone
who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
-
What's
a shy and retiring accountant?
An
accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's/she's retiring.
-
How
do you drive an accountant completely insane?
Tie
him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a roadmap the wrong way.
-
What
do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?
Depreciation.
-
What
do actuaries do to liven up their office party?
Invite
an accountant.
-
Why
did the auditor cross the road?
Because
he looked in the file and that's what they did last year.
-
Why
do accountants make good lovers?
They're
great with figures.
-
Why
did the Accountant cross the road?
To
bore the people on the other side!
-
What
does CPA stand for?
Can't
Pass Again.
-
How
do you know if an accountant is an extrovert or introvert?
An
extrovert looks at your shoes when talking to you, an introvert looks at their
shoes when talking to you.
-
What
is the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion?
Jail.
-
What
do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?
Depletion.
-
What
does an accountant use for birth control?
His
personality.
-
What's
an extroverted accountant?
One
who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.
-
What's
an auditor?
Someone
who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
-
There
are three kinds of accountants in the world
Those who can count and those who
can't.
-
What's
an accountant's idea of trashing his hotel room?
Refusing
to fill out the guest comment card.
-
How
do you drive an accountant completely insane?
Tie him to a chair, stand in front
of him and fold up a road map the wrong way.
-
What's
the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do?
Go
into town and gang-audit someone.
-
What
do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?
Depreciation.
More Accountant Jokes ==> Page
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