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Political Jokes > Politician Jokes If you have some that you especially like and you don't see it here. Drop us an email.
To Be A Democrat You Have To Believe That... Virtually anyone can be a Democrat. Just simply quit thinking and vote that way. But if you want to be a GOOD Democrat, there are some prerequisites you must have first. Compare the below and see how you rate. 1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding. 2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex. 3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese communists. 4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding. 5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs. 6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural. 7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand. 8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity. 9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do. 10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it. 11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars. 12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution. 13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high. 14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinmen are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison. 15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't. 16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady. 17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge. 18. You have to believe Republicans telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House. 19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal. 20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.Pentagon Buzz-Phrases Essentially complete... It's half done. We predict ... We hope to God! Risk is high, but within acceptable ranges of risk: 100:1 odds, or with 10 times over budget using 10 times the people we said we'd employ. Potential show stopper... The team has updated their resumes. Serious but not insurmountable problems... It'll take a miracle. Basic agreement has been reached... The @##$%%'s won't even talk to us. Results are being quantified... We're massaging the numbers so they will agree with our conclusions. Task force to review... Seven people who are incompetent at their regular jobs have been loaned to the project Not well defined at this time... Nobody's even thought about it. Still analyzing the requirements... See previous answer. Not well understood... Now that we've thought about it, we don't want to think about it anymore. Requires further analysis and management attention... Totally out of control! Results are promising... Turned power on and no smoke detected -- this time.
More Political Jokes ==> Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 Gifts: Allheart.com: "Nursing Uniforms is our specialty. AllHeart.com offers Medical Uniforms and Scrubs, Stethoscopes, Diagnostic Tools, Blood Pressure Devices and more at EveryDay Low Prices. Scrubs for men and women are our bread and butter. AllHeart.com's senior management includes over 90 years of experience in pharmaceuticals, health care, retail, manufacturing, and catalog merchandising industries. AllHeart.com also offers a Free 30 Day Walk and Wear Return Policy to ensure customer satisfaction."
Nurses' Station:"The idea for the Nurses'
Station Catalog was conceived in 1989. After searching the
marketplace in response to customer inquiries, it became obvious
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profession. To be sure, there were several catalogs offering
nurse's uniforms and a smattering of professional items. But
there weren't any catalogs at the time offering a range of gifts,
clothing, professional items, name badges, shoes and scrubs for
nurses. It took two years of hard work to gather samples and put
a together a catalog of the most unique and high-quality items
for nurses. " Search the Web: Jokes , Free Stuff , Gags and Pranks , Magic , Pharmacy , Weight Loss Commonly Used Drug (Medication) Links:
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