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Politically Incorrect Jokes > Redneck Jokes
If you have some that you especially like and you don't see it here. Drop us an email.


Things You Would Never Hear a Southerner Say
- I thought Graceland was tacky.
- No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.
- Honey, do these bonsai trees need watering?
- Wrasslin's fake.
- "Alex, I'll take Shakespeare for 1000."
- Duct tape won't fix that.
- Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
- Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
- We don't keep firearms in this house.
- Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
- You can't feed that to the dog.
- Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
- We're vegetarians.
- Do you think my hair is too big?
- I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.
- I've got it all on a floppy disk.
- Unsweetened tea tastes better.
- My fiancée, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
- I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
- Elvis who?
- Would you like you fish poached or broiled?
- Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
- Who's Richard Petty?
- Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
- Deer heads detract from the decor.
- Spitting is such a nasty habit.
- I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
- Trim the fat off that steak.
- Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
- The tires on that truck are too big.
- I'll have the arugula and ridicchio salad.
- I don't have a favorite college team.
- Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
- Checkmate.
- She's too old to be wearing a bikini.
- Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
- Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
- I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
- Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.


More Redneck Jokes >>> Page      4       9  

Gifts:

Allheart.com: "Nursing Uniforms is our specialty. AllHeart.com offers Medical Uniforms and Scrubs, Stethoscopes, Diagnostic Tools, Blood Pressure Devices and more at EveryDay Low Prices. Scrubs for men and women are our bread and butter. AllHeart.com's senior management includes over 90 years of experience in pharmaceuticals, health care, retail, manufacturing, and catalog merchandising industries. AllHeart.com also offers a Free 30 Day Walk and Wear Return Policy to ensure customer satisfaction."

Nurses' Station:"The idea for the Nurses' Station Catalog was conceived in 1989. After searching the marketplace in response to customer inquiries, it became obvious that there were no catalogs of this type serving the nursing profession. To be sure, there were several catalogs offering nurse's uniforms and a smattering of professional items. But there weren't any catalogs at the time offering a range of gifts, clothing, professional items, name badges, shoes and scrubs for nurses. It took two years of hard work to gather samples and put a together a catalog of the most unique and high-quality items for nurses. "
Nurses Station P.O. Box 388 Centerbrook, CT 06409-03881


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Last Updated January 8, 2004

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