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Politically Incorrect Jokes > Redneck Jokes
If you have some that you especially like and you don't see it here. Drop us an email.


As Seen Through the Eyes of a Redneck

Threats:
-- I'll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outta style.
-- This'll jar your preserves.
-- Don't you be makin' me open a can o' whoop-ass on ya!

Good Things/Compliments:
-- Cute as a sack full of puppies.
-- If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.
-- Gooder than grits.

The Weather:
-- It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.
-- It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch.
-- Wintry roads are said to be "slicker than otter snot.

Descriptions:
-- A bothersome person is "like a booger that you can't thump off."
-- When something is bad then you say, "that ain't no count."
-- If something is hard to do, it's "like trying to herd cats."
-- He ran like his feet was on fire and his ass was catchin.
-- A hectic schedule keeps you "Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor."

Insults:
-- She's uglier than homemade soap.
-- Your momma's so fat, when she stepped up on the scale to be weighed, it said 'To be continued.'
-- He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
-- Uglier than a lard bucket full of armpits.
-- The wheels still turning, but the hamsters dead
-- Any insulting statement is always followed by "bless his/her heart." Example: "She's dumber than a door knob, bless her heart."


More Redneck Jokes >>> Page    3        9  

Gifts:

Allheart.com: "Nursing Uniforms is our specialty. AllHeart.com offers Medical Uniforms and Scrubs, Stethoscopes, Diagnostic Tools, Blood Pressure Devices and more at EveryDay Low Prices. Scrubs for men and women are our bread and butter. AllHeart.com's senior management includes over 90 years of experience in pharmaceuticals, health care, retail, manufacturing, and catalog merchandising industries. AllHeart.com also offers a Free 30 Day Walk and Wear Return Policy to ensure customer satisfaction."

Nurses' Station:"The idea for the Nurses' Station Catalog was conceived in 1989. After searching the marketplace in response to customer inquiries, it became obvious that there were no catalogs of this type serving the nursing profession. To be sure, there were several catalogs offering nurse's uniforms and a smattering of professional items. But there weren't any catalogs at the time offering a range of gifts, clothing, professional items, name badges, shoes and scrubs for nurses. It took two years of hard work to gather samples and put a together a catalog of the most unique and high-quality items for nurses. "
Nurses Station P.O. Box 388 Centerbrook, CT 06409-03881


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Last Updated January 8, 2004

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