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Politically Incorrect Jokes > Redneck Jokes If you have some that you especially like and you don't see it here. Drop us an email.
As Seen Through the Eyes of a Redneck
Threats: -- Cute as a sack full of puppies. -- If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it. -- Gooder than grits. The Weather: -- It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs. -- It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch. -- Wintry roads are said to be "slicker than otter snot. Descriptions: -- A bothersome person is "like a booger that you can't thump off." -- When something is bad then you say, "that ain't no count." -- If something is hard to do, it's "like trying to herd cats." -- He ran like his feet was on fire and his ass was catchin. -- A hectic schedule keeps you "Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor." Insults: -- She's uglier than homemade soap. -- Your momma's so fat, when she stepped up on the scale to be weighed, it said 'To be continued.' -- He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. -- Uglier than a lard bucket full of armpits. -- The wheels still turning, but the hamsters dead -- Any insulting statement is always followed by "bless his/her heart." Example: "She's dumber than a door knob, bless her heart."
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