Jokes 'N Jokes
Insults and Sarcasm
Against Bullies and Mean Guys

• He'll cry over your wounds so he can get salt in them.
  

• He heats the knives so his family won't use too much butter.
  

• The next time you'll meet anyone like him, it will have to be In a Nightmare.

• He got his parents a fifty-piece dinner set for their Golden Anniversary a box of toothpicks.
  

• He told his children Santa Claus is too old to get around any more.
  

• He takes sparrows, dips them in peroxide, and sells them as canaries.
  

• He'll throw a drowning man both ends of a rope.
  

• The last place he lived in, he campaigned for dry law, got it passed and then moved away.
  

• If you kicked him in his heart, you'd break your toe.
  

• He has lots of fortitude. He'll stand for nearly anything, but a woman on a train.
  

• The only way he can hear any good about himself is to talk to himself.
  

• Every time a report comes about the dangers of second-hand cigarette smoke, he goes around blowing smoke in people’s faces.
  

• He's suffering from hardening of the hearteries.
  

• His motto is ‘A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH', but expects yours to have gold in it.
  

• He folds his newspaper so the guy next to him in the bus can only read half the newspaper.
  

• You could not warm up to him if you were cremated together.
  

• Lots of people would love working for him - if they were graver diggers.
  

• He'd steal a dead fly from a blind spider.
  

Giant Book of Put-Downs, Insults & Excuses
by Maureen Kushner, Joseph Resenbloom, Joseph Rosenbloom

Stick Up for Yourself : Every Kid's Guide to Personal Power & Positive Self-Esteem
by Gershen Kaufman, et al

How to Handle Bullies, Teasers and Other Meanies: A Book That Takes the Nuisance Out of Name Calling and Other Nonsense
by Kate Cohen-Posey, Betsy A. Lampe (Illustrator)

Words Will Never Hurt Me: Helping Kids Handle Teasing, Bullying and Putdowns
by Sally Northway Ogden (Illustrator), Margaret Smith (Editor)