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Obnoxious Jokes and Insults > Comebacks, Sarcasm and Insults for All Occasions. If you have some that you especially like and you don't see it here. Drop us an email.
Here's a come back when someone calls you shorty. I might be short but you're ugly and I still have time to grow!
Cross Examination A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial - it went like this: Attorney: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? Officer: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away. D.A.: Officer, who provided this description? Officer: The officer who responded to the scene. D.A.: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers? Officer: Yes sir, with my life. D.A.: With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a locker room in the police station - a room where you change your clothes in preparation for you daily duties? Officer: Yes sir, we do. D.A.: And do you have a locker in that room? Officer: Yes sir, I do. D.A.: And do you have a lock on your locker? Officer: Yes sir. D.A.: Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those same officers? Officer: You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room. The courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called. Now THAT's what I call a comeback !! The Pumpkin Patch Washington Post article... the title of the article was "Best Comeback Line Ever." In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dracula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday. The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need." "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there and then looked me straight in the face and said: "A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?" Recommended Reading
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Gifts:
Nurses' Station:"The idea for the Nurses'
Station Catalog was conceived in 1989. After searching the
marketplace in response to customer inquiries, it became obvious
that there were no catalogs of this type serving the nursing
profession. To be sure, there were several catalogs offering
nurse's uniforms and a smattering of professional items. But
there weren't any catalogs at the time offering a range of gifts,
clothing, professional items, name badges, shoes and scrubs for
nurses. It took two years of hard work to gather samples and put
a together a catalog of the most unique and high-quality items
for nurses. " Are you single and looking for that someone special? Check out our Singles and Matchmaking Reviews section. We have information and reviews on many of the different Singles and Matchmaking Reviews sites. It will help guide you for that all important decision. Visit these Informative Links Would You Like to Receive Great Jokes in
the Mail? Try Our Newsletters !!
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