Jokes 'N Jokes
Battle of the Sexes and Gender Jokes

• Losing a wife can be hard.
  In my case, it was almost impossible.

• Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first.

• Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.

• Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.

• Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

• Marriage is the sole cause of divorce.

• Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.

• Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.

• The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

• Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late." 

• When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

• Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
  Dad: That happens in every country, son.

• Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

• My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way.

• My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him!

• My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it.

• Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license.

• Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man.

• Marriage still confers one very special privilege - only a married person can get divorced.

• Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out.

• If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don't stand in her way.

• I am in total control, but don't tell my wife

• I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
  -- Dick Martin

• If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry.
  -- Chekhov

• My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her.

• Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over."

• The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines.
  They gave him love and he invented marriage.

Nurses' Station:"The idea for the Nurses' Station Catalog was conceived in 1989. After searching the marketplace in response to customer inquiries, it became obvious that there were no catalogs of this type serving the nursing profession. To be sure, there were several catalogs offering nurse's uniforms and a smattering of professional items. But there weren't any catalogs at the time offering a range of gifts, clothing, professional items, name badges, shoes and scrubs for nurses. It took two years of hard work to gather samples and put a together a catalog of the most unique and high-quality items for nurses. "
Nurses Station P.O. Box 388 Centerbrook, CT 06409-03881

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