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Jokes > Battle of the Sexes and Gender Jokes
One Line Sums It Up...
-
Getting
married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you
want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered
that.
-
After
a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I
married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't
notice."
-
Man
is incomplete until he is married.
Then he is finished.
-
Just
think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had
no faults at all.
-
You
know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on
Wednesday nights, and so does she.
-
I've
got trouble with the wife again - she came into the bar looking for me and I
asked for her number.
-
The
theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature.
The new
theory is that men don't mature.
So you might as well marry a younger one.
-
The
difference between marriage and death?
Dead people are free.
-
The days just before
marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book
-
Love
is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
-
When
a newly married man looks happy, we know why.
But when a ten-year married man
looks happy, we wonder why.
-
There
was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her.
They got married,
and now he is going through hell.
-
There
was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got
married...and then it was too late!"
-
Married
life is full of excitement and frustration:
*
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
*
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
*
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
-
It
is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.
-
A
happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife
takes.
-
Son:
How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father:
I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
-
Son:
Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife
until he marries.
Father:
That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!
-
A
husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.
-
Marriage
is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are
attached.
-
Marriage
is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.
-
Marriage
is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets
her Masters.
-
Marriage
requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings":
**
The Engagement Ring
**
The Wedding Ring
**
The Suffe-Ring
** The Endu-Ring
-
First
guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second
guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
More Battle of the Sexes and Gender Jokes ==> Page
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Last Updated May 6, 2012
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