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Jokes > Men vs Women - Battle of the Sexes Jokes
The Mathematics of Men and Women Relationships ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy SHOPPING MATH A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need. GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Random Thoughts on Man and Woman Relationships HAPPINESS To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. MEMORY Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. APPEARANCE Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. PROPENSITY TO CHANGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.His and Hers Road Trip HERS 1. Pulls off at wrong exit. 2. Opens window. 3. Asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer. 4. Arrives at destination presently. HIS 1. Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it's the correct one. 2. Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he's right. 3. Drives an extra five miles just in case. 4. Finally rolls down window. 5. Hocks a loogie. 6. Pulls up to a 7-Eleven. 7. Gets three hot dogs, a large Slurpee and beef jerky. 8. Asks foreigner behind counter how to get back onto the highway. 9. Gets back into car. 10. Farts, after he closes the door. 11. Laughs at the idea of looking at a map as he pulls away from the 7-Eleven. 12. Drives down a dirt road with no street lights insisting this is the way back because the pimply 17-year-old 7-Eleven cashier said it was. 13. Almost hits a deer. 14. Curses the night. 15. Curses you. 16. Curses the large Slurpee. 17. Stops by the side of the road. 18 Takes a leak. 19. Still taking a leak. 20. Almost done...I think. 21. Returns to car. 22. Drives and fiddles with radio. 23. Yells at you for suggesting the map again. 24. Admits he didn't want to go to Thanksgiving at your sister's anyway. 25. He hates your sister, ever since she called him a pernicious weasel. 26. He had to look up pernicious. 27. Couldn't find a dictionary. 28. Finally found a dictionary. 29. Couldn't spell pernicious. 30. Seethes at the memory of it all. 31. But she is laughing inside. 32. And of course you're still lost. More Battle of the Sexes Jokes ==> Page 1 2 3 eBay The World's Online Marketplace !!: Are you looking for that hard to find Collectible? A great price on a Car, Truck or Boat? If you are looking for a great price on just about ANYTHING - eBAY's the place to be --- 24 hours a day !! Gifts: Allheart.com:"Nursing Uniforms is our specialty. AllHeart.com offers Medical Uniforms and Scrubs, Stethoscopes, Diagnostic Tools, Blood Pressure Devices and more at EveryDay Low Prices. Scrubs for men and women are our bread and butter. AllHeart.com's senior management includes over 90 years of experience in pharmaceuticals, health care, retail, manufacturing, and catalog merchandising industries. AllHeart.com also offers a Free 30 Day Walk and Wear Return Policy to ensure customer satisfaction."
Nurses' Station:"The idea for the Nurses'
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