Jokes 'N Jokes
Men vs Women - Divorce Jokes

The salesman answered, "I'm on the road during the week so naturally when I am home on weekends, I particularly attentive to my wife. One Sunday morning we were in the middle of a heavy session of love-making when the old lady in the apartment next door pounded on the wall and yelled, 'Can't you at least stop all that racket on the weekend?'

A divorce court judge said to the husband, "Mr. Perry, I have reviewed this case very carefully and I've decided to give your wife $800 a week."

"That's very fair, your honor," he replied. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."

A woman went to an attorney to ask about a divorce.
"What grounds do you have, ma'm?"
"About six acres."
"No, I don't think you quite understand. Let me rephrase the question. do you have a grudge?"
"No, just a parking space."
"I'll try again. does your husband beat you?"
"No, I always get up at least an hour before he does."
The attorney could see he was fighting a losing battle. "Madam, are you sure you want a divorce?"
"I'm not the one who wants a divorce," she said. "My husband does. He claims we don't communicate."

Divorce is having your genitals torn off through your wallet. [Robin Williams]

The happiest time of anyone's life is just after the first divorce. [J.K. Galbraith]

"That's the problem, Jan. Face it, you're just bad luck."

Mrs. Wilson appeared before the judge in a divorce action.
"How old are you?" asked the judge.
"Thirty-five," said Mrs. Wilson.
The judge noted her greying hair and wrinkled cheeks. "May I see your birth certificate?"
She handed the judge her birth certificate.
"Madam," he said severely, "according to this certificate you are not 35 but 50."
"Your honor," replied Mrs. Wilson, "the last 15 years I spent with my husband I'm not counting. You call that a life?"

Nurses' Station:"The idea for the Nurses' Station Catalog was conceived in 1989. After searching the marketplace in response to customer inquiries, it became obvious that there were no catalogs of this type serving the nursing profession. To be sure, there were several catalogs offering nurse's uniforms and a smattering of professional items. But there weren't any catalogs at the time offering a range of gifts, clothing, professional items, name badges, shoes and scrubs for nurses. It took two years of hard work to gather samples and put a together a catalog of the most unique and high-quality items for nurses. "
Nurses Station P.O. Box 388 Centerbrook, CT 06409-03881

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