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JOKES > Tom Swifties were originated by Edward Stratemeyer in a series of strip cartoons about a character called Tom Swift. They are otherwise known as.... adverbial puns. The only rule is that the adverbs end in "-ly". If you have an additional Tom Swifties, please free to send them on to us.

  • "Boy, these blintzes are good!" said Tom judiciously.

  • "I'm an ordained minister," said Tom reverently.

  • "   ," said Tom blankly.

  • " ..., and you lose a few," said Tom winsomely.

  • "I've struck oil," Tom said, crudely.

  • "A thousand thanks, Monsieur," said Tom mercifully.

  • "Add this list of n numbers and divide the sum by n," said Tom meanly.

  • "As soon as the rain stops, we'll break camp," said Tom intently.

  • "Boy, that sure took the wind out of my sails!" said Tom disgustedly.

  • "Boy, will I give YOU a haircut!" said Tom barbarously.

  • "Buy me something to drink?" said Tom dryly.

  • "Get away from the dynamite," Tom said explosively.

  • "Give me some more macaroni and cheese, and I'll tell you," said Tom  craftily.

  • "I'd love some Chinese food," said Tom wantonly.

  • "I brought the dessert," said Tom piously.

  • "I collect fairy tales," said Tom grimly.

  • "I commanded a group of ships for a week," Tom said fleetingly.

  • "As my sole heir, you get it all," said Tom willfully.

  • "I forgot what to buy," Tom said listlessly.

  • "I hate pies with crumb bases," said Tom crustily.

  • "I joined the Lion's Club," said Tom pride fully.

  • "I just returned from Japan," Tom said disoriented.

  • "I know all the wherefores," said Tom wisely.

  • "I MUST patch this coat." Tom said raggedly.

  • "I need a home run hitter," Tom said ruthlessly.

  • "I need a pencil sharpener," said Tom bluntly.

  • "I only get Newsweek," said Tom timelessly.

  • "I punched him in the stomach three times," said Tom triumphantly.

  • "I still haven't struck oil," said Tom boringly.

  • "I think I'll use a different font," said Tom boldly.

  • "I want to date around," said Tom unsteadily.

  • "I was adopted," said Tom transparently.

  • "I was removed from office," said Tom disappointedly.

  • "I won the daily double," Tom cried hoarsely.

  • "I don't like hot dogs," Tom said frankly.

  • "I'll pay off that customs official," said Tom dutifully.

  • "I'll try and dig it up for you," Tom said gravely.

  • "I'm back from my lobotomy," said Tom absentmindedly.

  • "I'm knitting a sweater for my guppy," said Tom wolfishly.

  • "I've lost my trousers," Tom said expansively.

  • "I've made a study of girls," said Tom lassitudinously.

  • "It's the maid's night off," said Tom helplessly.

  • "Keep an eye on that orbit," Tom said watchfully.

  • "Let's get married," said Tom engagingly.

  • "Let's visit tombs," said Tom cryptically.

  • "Look at those newborn kittens," said Tom literally.

  • "Mush!" Tom said huskily.

  • "My pencil is dull," said Tom pointlessly.

  • "My stereo is broken," said Tom disconsolately.

  • "My stereo's half-fixed," said Tom monotonously.

  • "My stereo is working great now," said Tom ecstatically.

Recommended Reading:

1000 Knock Knock Jokes for Kids
by Michael Kilgarriff, Ltd Staff Ward Lock

500 Hilarious Jokes for Kids
by Jeff Rovin

1000 Crazy Jokes for Kids
by Michael Johnstone

Kids' Book Of Gross Facts & Feats
by Strasser

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    Last Updated April 1, 2013

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