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JOKES > Tom Swifties were originated by Edward Stratemeyer in a series of strip cartoons about a character called Tom Swift. They are otherwise known as.... adverbial puns. The only rule is that the adverbs end in "-ly". If you have an additional Tom Swifties, please free to send them on to us.
- "Boy,
these blintzes are good!" said Tom judiciously.
- "I'm
an ordained minister," said Tom reverently.
- "
," said Tom blankly.
- "
..., and you lose a few," said Tom winsomely.
- "I've
struck oil," Tom said, crudely.
- "A
thousand thanks, Monsieur," said Tom mercifully.
- "Add
this list of n numbers and divide the sum by n," said Tom meanly.
- "As
soon as the rain stops, we'll break camp," said Tom intently.
- "Boy,
that sure took the wind out of my sails!" said Tom disgustedly.
- "Boy,
will I give YOU a haircut!" said Tom barbarously.
- "Buy
me something to drink?" said Tom dryly.
- "Get
away from the dynamite," Tom said explosively.
- "Give
me some more macaroni and cheese, and I'll tell you," said Tom
craftily.
- "I'd
love some Chinese food," said Tom wantonly.
- "I
brought the dessert," said Tom piously.
- "I
collect fairy tales," said Tom grimly.
- "I
commanded a group of ships for a week," Tom said fleetingly.
- "As
my sole heir, you get it all," said Tom willfully.
- "I
forgot what to buy," Tom said listlessly.
- "I
hate pies with crumb bases," said Tom crustily.
- "I
joined the Lion's Club," said Tom pride fully.
- "I
just returned from Japan," Tom said disoriented.
- "I
know all the wherefores," said Tom wisely.
- "I
MUST patch this coat." Tom said raggedly.
- "I
need a home run hitter," Tom said ruthlessly.
- "I
need a pencil sharpener," said Tom bluntly.
- "I
only get Newsweek," said Tom timelessly.
- "I
punched him in the stomach three times," said Tom triumphantly.
- "I
still haven't struck oil," said Tom boringly.
- "I
think I'll use a different font," said Tom boldly.
- "I
want to date around," said Tom unsteadily.
- "I
was adopted," said Tom transparently.
- "I
was removed from office," said Tom disappointedly.
- "I
won the daily double," Tom cried hoarsely.
- "I
don't like hot dogs," Tom said frankly.
- "I'll
pay off that customs official," said Tom dutifully.
- "I'll
try and dig it up for you," Tom said gravely.
- "I'm
back from my lobotomy," said Tom absentmindedly.
- "I'm
knitting a sweater for my guppy," said Tom wolfishly.
- "I've
lost my trousers," Tom said expansively.
- "I've
made a study of girls," said Tom lassitudinously.
- "It's
the maid's night off," said Tom helplessly.
- "Keep
an eye on that orbit," Tom said watchfully.
- "Let's
get married," said Tom engagingly.
- "Let's
visit tombs," said Tom cryptically.
- "Look
at those newborn kittens," said Tom literally.
- "Mush!"
Tom said huskily.
- "My
pencil is dull," said Tom pointlessly.
- "My
stereo is broken," said Tom disconsolately.
- "My
stereo's half-fixed," said Tom monotonously.
- "My
stereo is working great now," said Tom ecstatically.
Recommended Reading:

1000 Knock Knock Jokes for Kids
by Michael Kilgarriff, Ltd Staff Ward Lock

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by Jeff Rovin

1000 Crazy Jokes for Kids
by Michael Johnstone

Kids' Book Of Gross Facts & Feats
by Strasser
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