Jokes 'N Jokes
Nurse Jokes

Why did the nurse keep the bedpan in the refrigerator?
Because when she kept it in the freezer it took too much skin off.

Patient: "Nurse, I just swallowed my pillow!"
Nurse: "How do you feel?"
Patient: "A little down in the mouth"

You Know that You Are a Nurse When...

• You know you are a nurse when discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal.
• You know you are a nurse when you compliment a complete stranger on his veins.
• You know you are a nurse when you find yourself betting on someone's alcohol level.
• You know you are a nurse when you know that K-Y jelly is optional.

How do you save a doctor from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.

What 's the difference between a nurse and a nun?
A nun only serves one God.

A nurse dies and goes to heaven. She is met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter who asks her questions about her life. Over St. Peter's shoulder the nurse spots a man in a white coat sitting on a cloud with a stethoscope around his neck.

They found a naked dead body of a nurse washed up on the shore today.
How did they know it was a nurse?
She had an empty stomach, a full bladder, and her butt was chewed out.

Nurse
A new nurse listened while the doctor was yelling, "Typhoid! Tetanus! Measles!"
The new nurse asked another nurse, "Why is he doing that?"
The other nurse replied, "Oh, he just likes to call the shots around here."

• The Doctor's Book of Humorous Quotations: A Treasury of Quotes, Jokes, and One-Liners About Doctors & Health Care
  by Howard J., Md. Bennett (Editor)

• The Best Nurse Jokes Ever
  by Beth Tripmacher (Editor)

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