Jokes 'N Jokes
Strange Signs

• In a Laundromat:
  AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.

• Notice in a field:
  THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES

• Notice in a dry cleaner's window:
  ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE FOR
  MORE THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF.

• Sign on motorway garage:
  PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS.
  YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS

• In an office:
  WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.

• Spotted in a toilet of a New York office building:
  TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.

• Outside a secondhand shop:
  WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN.

• Notice in health food shop window:
  CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

• Spotted in a National Park:
  BEARS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

• Seen during a conference:
  FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR

• On a church door:
  THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR.
  THIS DOOR IS KEPT LOCKED BECAUSE OF THE DRAFT.
  (PLEASE USE SIDE DOOR.)

• Outside a photographer's studio:
  OUT TO LUNCH:
  IF NOT BACK BY FIVE,
  OUT FOR DINNER ALSO

• Outside a disco:
  SMARTS IS THE MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN. EVERYONE WELCOME

• Sign warning of quicksand:
  QUICKSAND. ANY PERSON PASSING THIS POINT WILL BE DROWNED. BY ORDER OF THE DISTRICT COUNCIL.

• Notice sent to residents of a Wiltshire parish:
  DUE TO INCREASING PROBLEMS WITH LETTER LOUTS AND VANDALS WE MUST ASK ANYONE WITH RELATIVES BURIED IN THE GRAVEYARD TO DO THEIR BEST TO KEEP THEM IN ORDER

• In a London department store
  BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

• Sign on two doors in a Kaiser building in Sacramento, California:
  Rash Door.

• "WET PAINT. This is a warning, not an instruction!"

• 
  Phillips' Book of Great Thoughts Funny Sayings: A Stupendous Collection of Quotes, Quips, Epigrams, Witticisms, and Humorous Comments. for Personal

• 
  Bumper Stickers

• 
  A Binge of Diet Jokes

Nurses' Station:"The idea for the Nurses' Station Catalog was conceived in 1989. After searching the marketplace in response to customer inquiries, it became obvious that there were no catalogs of this type serving the nursing profession. To be sure, there were several catalogs offering nurse's uniforms and a smattering of professional items. But there weren't any catalogs at the time offering a range of gifts, clothing, professional items, name badges, shoes and scrubs for nurses. It took two years of hard work to gather samples and put a together a catalog of the most unique and high-quality items for nurses. "
Nurses Station P.O. Box 388 Centerbrook, CT 06409-03881

Commonly Used Drug (Medication) Links:

• Ace Inhibitors (Hypertension)
• HIV , AIDS, Antiviral Agents
• Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT)
• Impotence, Hair Loss, Mens Health, Obesity, Smoking Cessation
• Laxatives, Physic, Cathartics
• Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatories, NSAIDS
• Opioids, Opiates, Controlled Substances, Narcotic Analgesics
• Over The Counter (OTC) Medications
• Pain Killers
• Sedatives, Hypnotics, Barbiturates
• Skeletal Muscle Relaxants, Centrally Acting
• Steroids, Anabolic, Corticosteroids, Prednisone
• Respiratory (Asthma, COPD, Emphysema, Pulmonary)
• Weight Gain
• Weight Loss, Obesity, Appetite Control, Diet Pills

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Last Updated October 6, 2003

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