Jokes 'N Jokes
Holiday Jokes

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• You reuse last year's Christmas cards and send them out under your own name. (5 points)
• You steal light bulbs from you neighbor's outdoor display to replenish your own supply. (5 points, 10 if neighbor's whole light sets or lighted Santa goes out)
• You have dressed a dog or cat as Santa Claus, elf helper, or reindeer. (10 points for each; if you dressed an endangered species, 5 extra points)
• You put out last year's stale candy canes for children. (1 point for each piece of sticky candy).
• If you put out a chocolate or marzipan Santa also, add 10 points.
• You enclose a shoddy and inferior gift from Target, Wal-Mart, or K-Mart in a Bloomingdale's or other prestige box to impress your friends. (5 points for each infraction).
• You make collect long distance phone calls to your family on Christmas day. (5 points, 10 if from a cell phone), claiming you are stuck in a phone booth.
• At the office Christmas party, you horde huge stockpiles of goodies for later consumption at home. (5 points; 15 points if you use this stuff for your own party)
• You steal the wreath from a parked car to use on your own [Southern California only, others ignore]. (5 points -- nobody but Angelinos are dumb enough to dress a car)
• After an invitation to a friend's house, you bring a commercially produced fruitcake and try to pass it off as home made. (5 points; 15 points if the fruitcake is from last year).
• Any stealing from the Toys-for-Tots collection bins is a definite no-no. (20 points)

• 20-30: You are just a cheese ball.
• 30-50: You are an apprentice in Yuletide larceny and are probably wanted by the police for overdue parking tickets.
• 50-100: Grinch, move over. The Meyer Lansky of Christmas crime has arrived.

Nurses' Station:"The idea for the Nurses' Station Catalog was conceived in 1989. After searching the marketplace in response to customer inquiries, it became obvious that there were no catalogs of this type serving the nursing profession. To be sure, there were several catalogs offering nurse's uniforms and a smattering of professional items. But there weren't any catalogs at the time offering a range of gifts, clothing, professional items, name badges, shoes and scrubs for nurses. It took two years of hard work to gather samples and put a together a catalog of the most unique and high-quality items for nurses. "
Nurses Station P.O. Box 388 Centerbrook, CT 06409-03881

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