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• Q:  How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
  A:  How many can you afford?
  A:  It only takes one to change your bulb...to his.
  A:  Three. One to change it and 2 to keep interrupting by standing up and shouting "Objection !"
  A:  None, lawyers only screw us.
  A:  Lawyers don't change bulbs. Now if you're looking for someone to really screw a bulb...
  A:  Three-one to sue the power company for insufficiently supplying power,  or negligent failure to prevent the surge that made the bulb burn out in the first place, one to sue the electrician who wired the house, and one to sue the bulb manufacturers.
  A:  Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for  professional services.

• Q:  How many American wrestlers does it take to change a light bulb ?
  A:  Three. One to yank the old bulb out, throw it on the floor, try and jump onto it from a great height, and act real surprised when it rolls out of the way at the last minute, one to pretend to twist the new one in round and round so far it almost breaks, and some guy in a black and white stripy uniform whose function is never made quite clear to protest about something or other, to the complete indifference of the bulb changers.
  A:  5. One to change it 4 to fake it.

• Q:  How many pro-choicers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  A:  Two, one to do it and one to assert that the bulb didn't exist before it was lit up.

• Q:  How many executives does it take to change a light bulb?
  A:  A roomful - they have to hold a meeting to discuss all t ramifications of the change.

• Q:  How many Necrophilia's does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
  A:  None.  Necrophilia's prefer dead bulbs.
  A:  Only one. "Oh, excuse me, could you please test the socket with your finger while I go get a new bulb?"

Nurses' Station:"The idea for the Nurses' Station Catalog was conceived in 1989. After searching the marketplace in response to customer inquiries, it became obvious that there were no catalogs of this type serving the nursing profession. To be sure, there were several catalogs offering nurse's uniforms and a smattering of professional items. But there weren't any catalogs at the time offering a range of gifts, clothing, professional items, name badges, shoes and scrubs for nurses. It took two years of hard work to gather samples and put a together a catalog of the most unique and high-quality items for nurses. "
Nurses Station P.O. Box 388 Centerbrook, CT 06409-03881

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