| Welcome to the Jokes N Jokes.Net |
|
Jokes 'N Jokes
|
|
Joke Categories Daily Joke Animals Bar Jokes General Healthcare Kids Lists Top 10 Men vs Women Obnoxious Insult Political Politically Incorrect Professions Religion School Science Sports Transportation Wisdom Work Place
The Dailies MORE FUN STUFF Funny Pics Inspirations The Quotes Trivia Optical Illusions Newsletters
Humor Links Site Search
Internet Search Address Search People Search Phone # Search
Shopping
Wacky Shop
Uniforms
Continuing Education (C.E.U.'s)
Travel
|
Search the Web:
Jokes ,
Free Stuff ,
Gags and Pranks ,
Magic ,
Pharmacy ,
Weight Loss
Jokes > Walk Into A Bar .....Jokes. If you have some that you especially like and you don't see it here. Drop us an email.
A hippopotamus walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. "That will be $7.50 please" says the bartender. So the hippo gives the bartender his money and starts to sip his beer. "You know we don't very many hippos in here" mutters the bartender. The hippo replies, "At these prices it's no wonder!" A man walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer. He looks around, admiring the room and he soon notices that there are big lumps of meat hanging on the ceiling. He then says to the bartender, "Why have you got all this meat hanging around?''. The barman says, 'It's a little bet that we are running. If you can jump up and grab a bit of meat in your mouth then you can have all of your drinks bought for you. If you fail then you have to buy everyone else in the bar their drinks for them. Are you going to have a try at it''. The man shakes his head and says to the bartender, "No, the stakes are to high." (stakes/steaks) These two hunters enter the bar every day, the first one always carries the skin of an bear, the other one always empty handed. So the second one goes up to the first hunter and asks him how he gets to shoot a bear every day. "Well, that's easy", he replies," I just go over to one of those holes in the mountain, stand in front of it and shout; 'Yo, fat f***** cu** of a bear, get your stinking a** out off this hole!' as loud as I can, then the bear gets out and I shoot the it. Easy as that." "O.K." the other one says, "I'll remember that". So the next day the first hunter comes into the bar with his skin and orders a beer. About ten minutes later the second one crawls in, covered in blood, missing an leg, and is generally a mess. So the other hunter yells "What the happened to you man?!" "Aargh", says the other one " I did what you told me to do, I went to a hole, started shouting and swearing at that bear and guess what happened?" "What?" "A train came out." They call it Oz In the north of Australia is a place called Queensland which is very hot, humid and the pubs are rough. Anyway, this posh pommie (English) bloke is traveling through Queensland in the middle of summer by bicycle and is caught in a huge tropical storm. He sees a sign which says there is a pub 18 miles up the road. So he rides his bike to the pub and when he finally gets there his appearance resembles that of a drowned rat. Anyway, the locals hardly even look up from their beers as he walks in, dripping wet, and heads up to the bar and orders a scotch on ice. The barman gives him the worst scotch he has ever tasted but the pommie drinks it down and asks the barman where the dunny (toilet) is. The barman tells him it is outside. So the pommie trudges outside into the rain and all he can see in the rain is two big piles of shit, one much bigger than the other. So the pommie walks over to the smaller pile, relieved that someone had the sense to start a new pile since the larger one was clearly unmanageable. He has his pants around his ankles and is in the process of relieving himself when a gunshot rings out and a bullet smacks into the heap just beside his head. Well the poor pommie turns around, in a somewhat vulnerable position, and sees this huge Aussie guy standing at the door of the pub with his still smoking gun in his hand. "What..What is going on?" Stammers the poor pommie. The huge Aussie responds "Get the hell out of the Laidies you dirty bastard."More Walk Into a Bar Jokes ==> Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 Recommended Reading
Belly Laffs Beyond the Blender: Jokes Ive Heard from Behind the Bar
eBay The World's Online Marketplace !!: Are you looking for that hard to find Collectible? A great price on a Car, Truck or Boat? If you are looking for a great price on just about ANYTHING - eBAY's the place to be --- 24 hours a day !! Gifts: Nurses' Station:"The idea for the Nurses'
Station Catalog was conceived in 1989. After searching the
marketplace in response to customer inquiries, it became obvious
that there were no catalogs of this type serving the nursing
profession. To be sure, there were several catalogs offering
nurse's uniforms and a smattering of professional items. But
there weren't any catalogs at the time offering a range of gifts,
clothing, professional items, name badges, shoes and scrubs for
nurses. It took two years of hard work to gather samples and put
a together a catalog of the most unique and high-quality items
for nurses. " Visit these Stores and Information Sites JNJ's Department Store JNJ's Book Store JNJ's Music Store JNJ's Health and Personal Care Store JNJ's Electronics Store JNJ's Sports and Outdoor Store JNJ's Toys and Games Store Article Directory BMW Information Send comments and mail to: Webmaster@jokesnjokes.net Last Updated March 12, 2008 Would You Like to Receive Great Jokes in
the Mail? Try Our Newsletters !!
Newsletters | Copyright Notice | Contact Us |
