Welcome to the Jokes N Jokes.Net
jokes, trivia, funny pictures and optical illusions

Jokes 'N Jokes
Dog Jokes

Joke Categories
Daily Joke
Animals
Bar Jokes
General
Healthcare
Kids
Lists
Top 10
Men vs Women
Obnoxious
Insult
Political
Politically
Incorrect
Professions
Religion
School
Science
Sports
Transportation
Wisdom
Work Place


The Dailies
Cartoons!!
Jokes
Inspirations
Motivationals
Spirtual Wisdom


MORE FUN STUFF
Funny Pics
Inspirations
The Quotes
Trivia
Optical Illusions
Newsletters


Humor Links
Site Search


Internet Search
Address Search
People Search
Phone # Search

Shopping

Wacky Shop
Lighter Side
BuyCostumes.com
TV Video Store
Music Store
Book Store
Gift Shops
Shoe Stores

Uniforms
Allheart.com
Nurses' Station

Continuing Education (C.E.U.'s)

Matchmaking
Jobs ! Jobs !


Travel
Flights
Great Hotel Deals
Rental Cars
Vacaction Condo Rentals
Vacation Cruises
Destination Guide
Road Trips

alexa, alexa toolbar

Search the Web: Jokes , Free Stuff , Gags and Pranks , Magic , Pharmacy , Weight Loss


Jokes > Dog Jokes.    If you have some that you especially like and you don't see it here. Drop us an email.


Seeing Eye Dogs

A guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guy with a Chihuahua decide to go to a restaurant and get something to eat.

The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."

The guy with the Doberman Pinscher replies, "Just follow my lead."

They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walk in.

"Sorry, Sir.  No pets allowed," announces the door man.

The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."

The door man inquires, "A Doberman Pinscher?"

He responds, "Yes, they're using them now, they're very good."

The door man says, "Come on in."

The guy with the Chihuahua thinks, "What the heck," so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.

"Sorry, pal, no pets allowed," announces the door man.

The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."

The door man inquires, "A Chihuahua?"

The guy with the Chihuahua replies, "You mean they gave me a Chihuahua?"


Amazing Dog

An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.

He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. They fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. The friend saw everything but did not say a single word.

On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?" "I sure did," responded his friend. "He can't swim.
Does Your Dog Own You?

See how many of these statements apply to you and your dog.

  • You believe every dog is a lap dog.

  • If you are cold, you put a sweater on your dog.

  • You have a picture of your dog in your wallet, but not one of your kids.

  • You often claim that it was love at first sight with you and your dog.

  • You have your dog talk to your friends on the phone.

  • You can't fully enjoy yourself without your dog.

  • No matter how large your bed is, it is not large enough for you and your dogs).

  • You spend more on clothes and food for your dog than you do for yourself.

  • You have no reservations about kissing your dog on the lips, even when you know where his lips have been.

  • You believe it is your duty to talk to, pat, and even feed every dog in the neighborhood. You know their names.

  • You let the neighbor dog sleep over.

  • You believe there is no such thing as a naughty dog.

  • Your vet and grooming bills exceed your rent.

  • When you need someone to talk to, your dog is your first choice.

  • You sit on the floor if the dog got in the chair first.

  • You talk to your dog when you are driving. He answers.

  • Your dog taught you to fetch and roll over. 


The Happiest Dog Ever

Paul got off the elevator on the 40th floor and nervously knocked on his blind date's door. She opened it and was as beautiful and charming as everyone had said.

"I'll be ready in a few minutes," she said. "Why don't you play with Rollo while you're waiting?" He does wonderful tricks. He rolls over, shakes hands, sits up and if you make a hoop with your arms, he'll jump through."

The dog followed Paul onto the balcony and started rolling over. Paul made a hoop with his arms and Rollo jumped through -- and over the balcony railing. Just then Paul's date walked out.

"Isn't Rollo the cutest, happiest dog you've ever seen?"

"To tell the truth, " he replied, "Rollo seemed a little depressed to me!"


Religious Dog

This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping. At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot.

When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied equally fast, using his paws with dexterity. They were impressed, purchased the animal, and went home (piously, of course).

That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new fundamentalist dog and his major skills, they called the dog and showed off a little. The friends were impressed, and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks, as well. This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn't thought about 'normal' tricks.

"Well," they said, "let's try this out."

Once more they called out to the dog, and then clearly pronounced the command, "Heel!"

Quick as a wink, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the man's forehead, closed his eyes in concentration, and bowed his head.


More Dog Jokes ==> Page   2   3  
Recommended Reading

cover
A Guy Goes Into A Bar...
by Tapper

Belly Laffs Beyond the Blender: Jokes Ive Heard from Behind the Bar
by Margo Guidry


eBay The World's Online Marketplace !!: Are you looking for that hard to find Collectible? A great price on a Car, Truck or Boat? If you are looking for a great price on just about ANYTHING - eBAY's the place to be --- 24 hours a day !!


Gifts:

Allheart.com:"Nursing Uniforms is our specialty. AllHeart.com offers Medical Uniforms and Scrubs, Stethoscopes, Diagnostic Tools, Blood Pressure Devices and more at EveryDay Low Prices. Scrubs for men and women are our bread and butter. AllHeart.com's senior management includes over 90 years of experience in pharmaceuticals, health care, retail, manufacturing, and catalog merchandising industries. AllHeart.com also offers a Free 30 Day Walk and Wear Return Policy to ensure customer satisfaction."

Nurses' Station:"The idea for the Nurses' Station Catalog was conceived in 1989. After searching the marketplace in response to customer inquiries, it became obvious that there were no catalogs of this type serving the nursing profession. To be sure, there were several catalogs offering nurse's uniforms and a smattering of professional items. But there weren't any catalogs at the time offering a range of gifts, clothing, professional items, name badges, shoes and scrubs for nurses. It took two years of hard work to gather samples and put a together a catalog of the most unique and high-quality items for nurses. "
Nurses Station P.O. Box 388 Centerbrook, CT 06409-03881



Search the Internet with Google !!
Google

Visit these Stores and Information Sites
JNJ's Department Store    JNJ's Book Store    JNJ's Music Store    JNJ's Health and Personal Care Store    JNJ's Electronics Store JNJ's Sports and Outdoor Store    JNJ's Toys and Games Store   
Article Directory      
   BMW Information
Send comments and mail to: Webmaster@jokesnjokes.net

Last Updated March 12, 2008

Would You Like to Receive Great Jokes in the Mail?  Try Our Newsletters !!
Newsletters | Copyright Notice | Contact Us