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Jokes > Dog Jokes. If you have some that you especially like and you don't see it here. Drop us an email.
Seeing Eye Dogs A guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guy with a Chihuahua decide to go to a restaurant and get something to eat. The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us." The guy with the Doberman Pinscher replies, "Just follow my lead." They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walk in. "Sorry, Sir. No pets allowed," announces the door man. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog." The door man inquires, "A Doberman Pinscher?" He responds, "Yes, they're using them now, they're very good." The door man says, "Come on in." The guy with the Chihuahua thinks, "What the heck," so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in. "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed," announces the door man. The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog." The door man inquires, "A Chihuahua?" The guy with the Chihuahua replies, "You mean they gave me a Chihuahua?" Amazing Dog An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him. He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. They fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. The friend saw everything but did not say a single word. On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?" "I sure did," responded his friend. "He can't swim. Does Your Dog Own You? See how many of these statements apply to you and your dog.
The Happiest Dog Ever Paul got off the elevator on the 40th floor and nervously knocked on his blind date's door. She opened it and was as beautiful and charming as everyone had said. "I'll be ready in a few minutes," she said. "Why don't you play with Rollo while you're waiting?" He does wonderful tricks. He rolls over, shakes hands, sits up and if you make a hoop with your arms, he'll jump through." The dog followed Paul onto the balcony and started rolling over. Paul made a hoop with his arms and Rollo jumped through -- and over the balcony railing. Just then Paul's date walked out. "Isn't Rollo the cutest, happiest dog you've ever seen?" "To tell the truth, " he replied, "Rollo seemed a little depressed to me!" Religious Dog This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping. At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied equally fast, using his paws with dexterity. They were impressed, purchased the animal, and went home (piously, of course). That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new fundamentalist dog and his major skills, they called the dog and showed off a little. The friends were impressed, and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks, as well. This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn't thought about 'normal' tricks. "Well," they said, "let's try this out." Once more they called out to the dog, and then clearly pronounced the command, "Heel!" Quick as a wink, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the man's forehead, closed his eyes in concentration, and bowed his head. More Dog Jokes ==> Page 1 2 3 Recommended Reading
Belly Laffs Beyond the Blender: Jokes Ive Heard from Behind the Bar
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